26 October 2007

The Stench and A Thought

I have been waiting patiently for cooler weather and finally it has arrived. BUT the damn paper mills figure people in Savannah don’t open their windows in cool weather so they are pumping out the stench full force.

It started last night. I awoke with an itchy nose and watery eyes. I had to get up and close the windows. I had the windows open today, but now I had to close them because the stench is creeping over the land.

Most Savannahians don’t complain about it because they accept it as a way of life and besides they have all their windows painted shut. You see to most people here you need to have your air conditioner on for seven to eight months out of the year and then switch to heat.

They also have the windows painted shut out of fear. You know, for security reasons and then for allergies. Savannah is always blooming so people are suffering with sinus infections quite often.

I believe many of these allergies and sinus infections come more from a closed up home then what is outside. If they would allow their bodies to acclimate more to their natural surroundings it probably won’t be so bad. ...That and they need to learn to fart more.

It’s true! There are way too many sickly, pale people walking around this town. It’s because passing gas is considered a no-no. It’s all backing up in their systems and poisoning their bodies. I am not advocating uncontrolled flatulence in the face of social responsibility, but I mean come on. It’s okay to do so when one is alone.

However I have met people who are uptight about it even when they are alone. What a crazy way to live your life!

Okay I am finished with my nonsensical rant.


Anonymous said...

Usually I'm right with ya on topics buddy, but I can't support open far. . .ung, I can't even say the word.

I shall refer to it as "unpleasantness."

Seriously, I don't even entertain "unpleasantness" in the confines of my own home – I am indeed one of the people are mentioning!

I'm sorry, many things are "natural" – but we're humans, and I'd like to think that our cultural constructs allow us to elevate the species out of the muck that lesser creatures find themselves relegated to. I support the restraint of "unpleasantness" at all times for the good of the race!

– Captain Never Makes A Stinky

K-A said...

Um, then you will be unhealthy and die.